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Quotes By Joan Rivers

I think I'm in a business where you have to look good, and it's totally youth-oriented. by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
business
The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found. by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
beauty
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
best
Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you. by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
diet
Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds. by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
food
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
funny
Never floss with a stranger. by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
funny
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio. by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
funny
I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor. by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
god
If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor. by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
funny
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present. by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
god
Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too. by Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
history
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